Winter and lupus

For most people, winter is a time of snow, happiness and the occasisional drving test due to the snow. The utility bills go up as the temperature goes down. The days are shorter and we stay indoors more. Most of us can identify with all these things.
However, as most of you know, those of us with lupus are not most people. So, in an effort to try to explain the way we feel, I thought this blog may help those who are “normal” to understand what winter means to me.
I am just one person with lupus. Winter is my enemy. The cold weather turns my fingers and toes white and blue and painful. It is called Raynauds, yet one more autoimune to add to my list.
I develop severe dry eyes that cause me to have corneal erosions that require surgery. My skin crawls all itchy like little bugs are on it. My scalp gets inundated with little sores that itch and scab over.
I sometimes get sores in my mouth and nose that are also painful. My joints hurt so bad that sometimes I sit and cry because the pain is overwhelming my body.
I am experiencing neuropathy in my feet now and have to see another specialist, a neurologist. Sleep eludes me when I need it the most. I plan my activities and have to cancel tham because I am too exhausted to do them.
I cannot attend my Christian meetings because it is too cold/too snowy/too painful/. Thankfully, I can attend by phone, which can be my lifeline to my brothers and sisters.
The medications I take cause me to gain weight, and develop osteoporosis, among other things. I have to see an opthalmologist because of one of my medications (an anti-malarial medication). You see, one of the side effects is you can lose your color vision and even go blind.
I am forgetful, and if I do not put something on my calendar, it is not done. That includes babysitting and other family pursuits. So, if I forget you, please be patient, it is not on purpose. I just didn’t put it on the calendar. If you want me to attend something, make sure I put it on my calendar too.
If you want to come visit me, please call first. Odds are I am either in bed, or resting. On the off chance I actually got out and about, be thankful, because it is rare in winter. In the same manner, when I do go out, it takes most of my energy and I am forced to rest my body afterwards.
If you think this is depressing to read, imagine living this every day. The good days definitely make up for the bad ones, but winter is hard on me for sure. As it draws to a close, I would like to say that I love each and every one of you who have called, visited, texted and emailed me this winter. You have helped make it more bearable for me and for that, I am blessed.
The blessings I recieve from all of you can be something so small, you do not even know you did it, but to me it is huge! Thanks for all you do, and I hope in some small way, you can see that I am not and do not want to gripe constantly, however, it does help to vent when I am at wits end and I tend to do that here, online. Please overlook it if it bothers you.
Once again, thanks for just being here and being my friends. I love you all!
Jen